


Healing Is Hurting

by thecoloursinthegravel



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-17
Updated: 2016-10-17
Packaged: 2018-08-23 02:36:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8310580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thecoloursinthegravel/pseuds/thecoloursinthegravel
Summary: Just something I want to say.





	

Healing is hurting.

Healing is looking at yourself in the mirror and not crying.

Healing is looking at yourself in the mirror and letting yourself cry and watching as your cheeks stain with tears and your eyes go red and knowing that this doesn’t mean you’re weak.

Healing is punching something so hard you can feel every bone in your hand crack and all the anger that forced your fist forward disappear.

Healing is waking up in the middle of the night and throwing up in the toilet and not going to sleep again for four hours but waking up the next day knowing you made it through the night.

Healing is more pain, sweat, tears and anger than anyone ever tells you.

Healing is hurting and hurting and hurting but for once that hurt means something. It means that you’re feeling something. That you’re trying. That no matter how much you hurt, you _know_ you never gave up. You haven’t given up. Not yet.

And most importantly, this hurting is never, ever permanent. This hurting goes away and proves that you are nothing less than a fucking warrior because you are so _strong_. And no matter how many times you sit up at night and all you can hear is the sound of your own heartbeat and all you can feel is that aching throb in your head that won’t go away, you still woke up the next morning. You still made it through the night.

And you’ll do it again. And again. And again until the time spent staring at the wall gets a little shorter. The ache in your head is just a dull pain. The sound of your heartbeat isn’t so bad, really. Because it means you’re alive.

Then before you know it your head doesn’t hurt anymore and you stay up late but only to read books you forgot you once loved. Your heart’s still going strong but you’ve decided you don’t mind the sound of the thud thud thud of the thing that speeds up just a touch when you see them.

And waking up in the middle of the night is only for water, or to go to the toilet, or because the damn next door neighbour’s dog won’t stop barking again. And looking at yourself in the mirror is more often than not followed by the biggest, cheesiest smile because dear god you’ve finally made it. You were, you are, _so strong_.

You’re okay. And those words never have to be a lie again.

And it’s not that sometimes you don’t have those moments when everything feels a bit too dark and a bit too quiet and a bit too like those nights you’d rather forget. It’s just that now you know, with absolute certainty, that you’re going to get through them. Then you can get back to that book of yours that you just absolutely adore.

Healing is hurting. But not for much longer, okay?

 

 

 

 

                  

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry, I didn't know where else to post this.  
> I hope you know that I mean every word.   
> I hope you know that you're worth every good thing.  
> I hope you find that brilliant book soon.
> 
> Please talk to me if you need to. If anyone wants my tumblr so we can talk properly, please don't hesitate to ask. I didn't want to post it and seem like I was looking for followers because that is certainly not what this is. Have a wonderful day/night! Be safe xx


End file.
